Beach(es) Beat

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I see by the papers that Canadian workers have a lower productivity rate than workers in many other countries. I find that difficult to believe because all the people I know work very hard indeed but that is not the cause of my puzzlement.

What I want to know is that in view of the many time-saving devices on the market today, what are Canadians doing with all the free hours through their use of those marvellous machines?

In the summer, lawns are kept trimmed with power mowers, in the fall garden waste is efficiently dispatched by leaf blowers and if we run out of gasoline or whatever we zip to the nearest supermarket in cars that travel at twice the speed of sound.

Bath towels are becoming obsolete because everybody has hair dryers, computers are gradually relieving us of the need to think and brooms are on the way out because everybody has a vacuum cleaner.

Mark my words, if this keeps up the next time-saving device to hit the market will be motorized bowling balls so all we have to do is sit back and keep score, all the while chatting with team members and sipping dry martinis.

Power toothbrushes are a commonplace item in bathroom cabinets all over this broad land and it is only a matter of time before electric hair combs hit the market. People remark on how time flies but nobody seems to know where it flies to and this is a matter that practically begs for a Royal Commission.

But getting back to the basics, what I want to know is with all that spare time on our hands how come our productivity appears to be lagging? Could it be that instead of slaving away in the workplace people are really engaging in shenanigans, which have nothing to do with our gross national product but are unquestionably a lot more fun?

And speaking of that sort of thing, how come there are lots of stories about 'she'nanigans but you never hear about 'he'nanigans and I think women should look into this type of one-sided coverage. This is the sort of question that keeps me awake in the dark of night and I have plenty of others that I am prepared to discuss at length.

On another note, I am pleased to report that the Kingston Road Festival held earlier this month was a solid success and just the kind of event that benefits the whole area.