Beach(es) Beat

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There was a time not long ago when, if you encountered an acquaintance on the street, it was customary to say hello then add some observation about the weather - pretty hot today or cold, as the case may be, or certainly this summer, the appropriate greeting would be sure does rain a lot in these parts doesn't it?

But times change and so do the words we use under such circumstances.

An old friend said hello to me the other day, then he said something about it being noisy on Queen Street. At least I think that is what he said but I am not positive because I couldn't quite hear him.

This gave me pause for thought since normally I can hear a pin drop before it hits the floor and I have concluded that By Ginger it truly is pretty noisy in this blessed part of our great city.

Motorcycles going along the street sound like a 747 taking off, teenagers speak in the stentorian tones once used by great orators and everywhere you go your ears are assailed by the sounds of canned music. I admit that this cacophonous clamour does a good job of scaring away bears and other predators but it seems a steep price to pay for this small mercy.

And all that noise feeds upon itself in the attempt to make itself heard. Truck horns sound like freight trains, warming devices such as whistles have ear-splitting volumes and modern bands seem consumed with the desire to emit sounds that approach the threshold of pain.

Noise is a curse that afflicts us all and I believe that the list of the seven deadly sins should be expanded to include the Sin of Din.

To borrow from an old movie, I am mad as hell about this and I am not going to take it anymore.

I now am trying to get investors to put some money into my plan to start a chain of what I have termed Silencariums, soundproof rooms where noise-battered men and women can sit for a modest fee in an atmosphere of total quiet and contemplate the world.

There would be no Muzak and the consumption of potato chips would not be allowed because they come in crinkly bags that make a lot of noise.

In other words, my goal is to establish an environment so serene that people could hear themselves think and who knows what benefits could accrue to mankind if that actually happened.